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On my own - http://www.ubetoo.com/silyestam/33924
On my own (with lyrics) - http://www.ubetoo.com/silyestam/33923
It's not a Fairytale - http://www.ubetoo.com/silyestam/43486
Vinterkänslor - http://www.ubetoo.com/silyestam/43487
Erosion (Story) - http://www.ubetoo.com/silyestam/49508
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Nya sommarplaner
Erosion
He was Earth, presumably stable, nurturing and full of life. This was not the case. Earth was loose, vulnerable and barren. At the whims of others, a gust of beauty would blow him away and a downpour of trouble would wash off the rich soil he carefully accumulated. Still, he was true to his nature and always acted on it. That is, when others weren’t stampeding him with demands, unsettling the very particles of his being into a cloud, obscuring his vision.
Being loose and barren, Earth didn’t form many deep attachments. He would swirl around, sometimes settle down for a while and bring some stability and nutrition, only to realize he wasn’t anchored. Wounded, he would move along. What he was looking for, he didn’t know, but he had a feeling he would know once he found it. Truth is, he was completely oblivious when it happened.
One day, much like any other, Earth saw something floating in the air. He wasn’t very concerned about it; he had seen many things floating in the air before without them significantly impacting his life. This was something small, but beautiful and charged. As he observed the small thing, he realized it was charged with life. “So it is not just a something, but a someone,” thought Earth. Getting closer, this someone was being tossed left and right, up and down, by the currents of the wind. Sometimes landing at a place only to be lifted up once more, tumbling around here and there. After some observation, Earth thought he knew the pattern of this someone’s existence. He was in for a surprise.
She was Seed, presumably creative, expansive and full of life. This was the case, kind of. Seed had been travelling a long, long way from her Creator and always used her creativity to find a way for her to expand to her full potential. Still, something always stopped her. Others would expected her to stay small, hard and full of nutrition and sometimes consume all that potential for growth before it even got a chance to be realized. They would be intimidated by all the sudden expansion, that she no longer was who she used to be, taking more space each passing moment.
As Seed was drifting around in a stream of water, the flow took her next to Earth. She felt that maybe Earth could be a good place to land, at least for a while. Trusting her intuition, she asked Earth if she could stay with him. Earth thought it could be a good thing; he enjoyed company of others. So it came to be that Seed and Earth joined together, neither of them realizing what the future held in store.
When Seed settled into Earth, he gave her stability and nutrition, something that Seed soaked up gratefully. At first, Earth noticed nothing in particular happening, which he was accustomed to. Subtly though, Seed started sprouting tiny strands of roots. In the meantime, she gave creativity and expansion to Earth, inspiring him with ideas and courage. They grew closer to each other and Seed continued to expand more and more into the life of Earth, to his great joy. Her roots grew and without knowing it, Earth was anchored for the first time in his life.
Eventually, rain poured down but Earth wasn’t completely washed away this time, although it took some time to rebuild himself. At first, he didn’t realize why. Then a strong gust of wind came blowing, but this time it didn’t affect him at all. He understood now, all this erosion that made him barren, vulnerable and loose was prevented by the steady roots of Seed that anchored themselves around the core of his very being. No longer was he at the mercy of others.
He is Earth, now stable and nurturing. She is Seed, now creative and expanding. Together they are truly full of life, on a path of abundance. What will grow of their union only the future will tell, but one thing is for sure: both of them will be ready to truly overflow with love for their surroundings.
Personal Essay
Within a boy
My lungs fill themselves with air and I feel blood rushing to rejuvenate itself with the fresh oxygen. My heartbeats are somewhat unsteady and faster than usual. I worriedly observe my watch once more, as if knowing that three more minutes dragged along will end this vigil swifter. My knees lose their faith in the worthiness of keeping my body upright and in response my now trembling hand clutches the cold and dirty steel railing next to me. I remain on my feet in a slightly crooked pose, looking like an old man. Anxiously, I grasp for air and with a surge in my body a current of emotions start to flow. Doubt rushes up my spine and agonizes my mind with thoughts that overpower any shred of hope left within.
I search my environment desperately. People hurry to wherever they are going, their narrow vision anchors itself at a distant goal so that they won’t have to recognize the presence of other human beings around them. With gloomy clouds, the sky obfuscates any merry influence the sun could have which dulls the already grey city and the few colors it has. Everything around me screams for my money, lures with the assertion of fulfilling my desires and threatens with the hollowness I will feel if I don’t cover it up with their artificial stimulants.
I tell myself that she is going to come and decide to wait longer. To confirm that the promised time already has passed, I hauntingly dig my eyes into the watch once more. My eyes catch a glance of my fingers and I realize they turned purple from the damp chill of a spring that yet has to allow a single flower to blossom. The vehement fumes from the blustering traffic reach my nose and I wish we’d chosen another rendezvous. Maybe at a cafe with smells of freshly ground coffee, sofas to sink into and playing the kind of music that will make you want to stay there and order dessert to savor with your cup of hot chocolate.
Lost in my own world, my body twitches when vibrations in my pocket indicates I’ve received a text message. Without really knowing what to feel or expect, I pick up my phone and see that it’s from her. She missed the train and will be about half an hour late, it says, and part of me feels relieved. She is still on her way. I look around, this time with a sliver of hope again present, and decide to head over to a nearby cafe. What I find is more of a generic coffee shop, but I don’t have much time to be looking for a cozier place. I decide to order some hot chocolate, but I skip the dessert since the ambiance isn’t exactly what I was looking for.
As I look for a table to sit by, I see, except for the nice but somewhat bored barista, an old woman reading a newspaper. She looks unusual and has a vibrancy not often found in people her age. Her eyes meet mine and feeling compelled to say something, I greet her and turn toward an empty table. Her voice confounds me as she asks if I can help her read some of the smaller text in the paper, since she forgot her reading glasses. I should feel slightly annoyed, since I was looking forward to have a moment to recharge my confidence before the girl arrives, but instead I just sit next to her with my hot chocolate and start reading the passage. It’s about indigenous people struggling to keep their traditions alive and although I’m not aware of it, something within me shifts.
We end up talking in a timeless manner. She entrusts me with her purpose in life which is to preserve the knowledge of her indigenous culture passed by her father onto her. She didn’t realize this until she had a car accident in her midlife. Then it became evident that if she had died, all that spiritual and natural knowledge would have been lost forever. Moved by her words, I uncover seeds of desires for my life, which to my superficial surprise and deep satisfaction revolve around much more than just a girl. Realizing the potential depth of my path in life and the dedication needed to walk it, I tell her about various things all carrying the same essence: fulfillment of human existence.
Time subtly intrudes this sacred space as I realize half an hour already passed. My lungs fill themselves with air and something even subtler, connecting me with unseen filaments of wisdom. My heartbeats are emanating life, pure and strong. Standing up, I feel my feet connecting to the core of the planet and an ageless immortality assures me that whatever may come, it all has its purpose. Serenity settles and I look through the windows of the coffee shop. My knees soften as I take in the view of an impatient girl waiting for me, folding her arms against the chill of spring.Swedish Visitor
Spaghetti-O's
Back to blogging
Hummus
Demo
1. On my own