Finished at last...
Tonight I did my last study task so now I don't have any study points left...
It feels so good.
I just have to make a Chichewa test, but I will continue to study the language even if I won't get any more points from it. It's something I really want to know. So far I can say some basic things, but now I'm to tired to think about anything :P
I just say this: When you have something difficult or unpleasant that needs to be done, get it over with as quickly as possible. I waited way too long.
It feels so good.
I just have to make a Chichewa test, but I will continue to study the language even if I won't get any more points from it. It's something I really want to know. So far I can say some basic things, but now I'm to tired to think about anything :P
I just say this: When you have something difficult or unpleasant that needs to be done, get it over with as quickly as possible. I waited way too long.
Malaria profylax
The malaria profylax that I am taking is called Lariam and can have various side effects. It can be tiredness, depressions, nightmares and hallucinations. The positive thing is that only c:a 5% get these effects.
You take one pill each week, so I started yesterday (Sunday). That day I became really tired in my brain and body between lunch and dinner, I really didn't feel like doing anything at all and had no energy. Then after dinner it wasn't so bad anymore, although I still was a bit tired.
Today (Day 2) I felt that everything was really meaningless, actually during the same time as I was so tired yesterday.
Now I realized that the feeling might come from the malaria medicine, so I decided to not pay it so much attention and drink a cup of hot chocolate instead.
I hope that I won't have to experience the nightmares and the hallucinations, even though it can be instersting in one way... :P
You take one pill each week, so I started yesterday (Sunday). That day I became really tired in my brain and body between lunch and dinner, I really didn't feel like doing anything at all and had no energy. Then after dinner it wasn't so bad anymore, although I still was a bit tired.
Today (Day 2) I felt that everything was really meaningless, actually during the same time as I was so tired yesterday.
Now I realized that the feeling might come from the malaria medicine, so I decided to not pay it so much attention and drink a cup of hot chocolate instead.
I hope that I won't have to experience the nightmares and the hallucinations, even though it can be instersting in one way... :P
Fishing!
Today I went fishing with one of the students, it was the first time in my life that I really went fishing ^^
I have been catching fish before, but only with a landing net (håv), it's like a stick with a open net bag at the end.
It was a bit cold, but actually nice when I got into it. I didn't catch any fishes, but they did eat on the worms at my hook... It was a bit exciting when you felt that something was going on ^^
Also I am keeping up with my study plan and that feels good. It's a bit hard and I have to struggle for it, but it's absolutely worth it. To be able to say that I did get my study points instead of having to say that I didn't, it actually makes a difference. A friend of mine said that happiness depends on how successful a person is, and I think that is true if you consider successes in all areas of life.
As well, I think my heart is finally getting rational and seeing reality.
I have been catching fish before, but only with a landing net (håv), it's like a stick with a open net bag at the end.
It was a bit cold, but actually nice when I got into it. I didn't catch any fishes, but they did eat on the worms at my hook... It was a bit exciting when you felt that something was going on ^^
Also I am keeping up with my study plan and that feels good. It's a bit hard and I have to struggle for it, but it's absolutely worth it. To be able to say that I did get my study points instead of having to say that I didn't, it actually makes a difference. A friend of mine said that happiness depends on how successful a person is, and I think that is true if you consider successes in all areas of life.
As well, I think my heart is finally getting rational and seeing reality.
New Years Concert in Horsens
Every year the different schools that cooperates with Humana helps to arrange a New Years Concert in Horsens.
In out school, we prepared the dinner for the 1700 people that were coming to see the concert.
I can say that it was a quite monotonous work, we rolled 3400 meat rolls, I chopped 1700 slices of leek (purjolök) which was very very boring after a while. Anyway, we got the stuff done and at the concert, people actually seemed to appreciate the dinner we had made.
The concert started at 12 this Saturday with some classical music and then continued through the day and the evening into the night with breaks for food once in a while. Around 23.30 the concert was (finally) over, but some parts of it was actually really good. After the concert there was something of a disco with live music arranged and we all danced as crazy after sitting down for 11 hours.
This was my first real classical concert (with some modern music as well) and also the first time I heard some great classical singers. I must say that they are very skilled and that opera is very hard to sing, but as one of the teachers said: "It's as hard to sing as it is to listen to"... There's some truth in that actually.
I think opera doesn't really give any message to the audience, it's not really about expressing something special with the music, at least not the opera I've listened to. It's just about singing stuff that is difficult to sing, basically.
Now there's many different opera singers so I only talk about those I've heard, remember that!
So now I'm back to the usual work, which is a bit tiring since the students always brings their personal problems to the school (that's the reason they're here). Still, my co-workers are nice and some of the students are too. Also, the other DI's are nice as well so it's actually not so bad.
Oh, and I'm planning to take one last trip to Sweden as well. Probably in the very beginning of February and if I'm lucky I might be able to fly to Malawi from Arlanda (Stockholm) instead of Copenhagen, it would be really nice. Then I can get the chance to meet some people I didn't meet during the Christmas holiday and also leave all stuff that I won't need in Africa (like winter clothes).
One more thing. I spoke to Mattias (my little brother) on the phone yesterday for several hours, it was really nice. Those who know me won't be surprised that we discussed role playing games all the time ^^
And I didn't tell him the Dark Secret of the Genetically Modified Gestapo Ninjas with Cybertech (moahaha).
In out school, we prepared the dinner for the 1700 people that were coming to see the concert.
I can say that it was a quite monotonous work, we rolled 3400 meat rolls, I chopped 1700 slices of leek (purjolök) which was very very boring after a while. Anyway, we got the stuff done and at the concert, people actually seemed to appreciate the dinner we had made.
The concert started at 12 this Saturday with some classical music and then continued through the day and the evening into the night with breaks for food once in a while. Around 23.30 the concert was (finally) over, but some parts of it was actually really good. After the concert there was something of a disco with live music arranged and we all danced as crazy after sitting down for 11 hours.
This was my first real classical concert (with some modern music as well) and also the first time I heard some great classical singers. I must say that they are very skilled and that opera is very hard to sing, but as one of the teachers said: "It's as hard to sing as it is to listen to"... There's some truth in that actually.
I think opera doesn't really give any message to the audience, it's not really about expressing something special with the music, at least not the opera I've listened to. It's just about singing stuff that is difficult to sing, basically.
Now there's many different opera singers so I only talk about those I've heard, remember that!
So now I'm back to the usual work, which is a bit tiring since the students always brings their personal problems to the school (that's the reason they're here). Still, my co-workers are nice and some of the students are too. Also, the other DI's are nice as well so it's actually not so bad.
Oh, and I'm planning to take one last trip to Sweden as well. Probably in the very beginning of February and if I'm lucky I might be able to fly to Malawi from Arlanda (Stockholm) instead of Copenhagen, it would be really nice. Then I can get the chance to meet some people I didn't meet during the Christmas holiday and also leave all stuff that I won't need in Africa (like winter clothes).
One more thing. I spoke to Mattias (my little brother) on the phone yesterday for several hours, it was really nice. Those who know me won't be surprised that we discussed role playing games all the time ^^
And I didn't tell him the Dark Secret of the Genetically Modified Gestapo Ninjas with Cybertech (moahaha).
Struggling with studies
I've always had an easy time with school, since I have easy to learn from books and listening to the teacher.
But still I've always told people that has difficulties with school that they at least learn how to struggle for something, they learn how to put aside your desires and just do what you must do. I never had to learn that, until now.
Today I had 82 study points left to do, which is roughly equivalent to 82 hours of studies. I have approximately two weeks to get these studies done. I haven't really struggled with my studies so far, I have just sometimes done them and sometimes not. I made a very good study plan, but I didn't follow it.
I had a meeting today with Vick, my teacher, and Gerda, the headmaster of the school who also is the one who will determine wheter I will go to Africa or not. We talked about the studies and I was convinced that I couldn't make those points in these two weeks. Then Gerda talked to me and asked me if I knew what it meant to fight for something. I know what it means: to do something you think is more important than yourself. Then she said that in Africa they need this kind of people and that if I wanted to go to Africa, I had to begin to fight for my studies. That really motivated me, actually, because it is absolutely right. When I'm in Malawi, I have to fight if I'm going to make a difference. So I made a study plan and sure, I can get these points before the last of January, if I just really go for it. Now I have begun with a good start, so I'm already ahead of the plan, which is how it's supposed to be. I also planned to be finished with my studies the 29th of January, even though I know that I probably will leave as earliest the 1st of February. Still, it's better to have some extra time outside the plan, so that you still can make it if something goes wrong on the way.
During the days we are now preparing the food for the New Years concert which will take place on Saturday. 1700 people need something to eat and at our school we'll fix the food for them. It's really really monotonous work, but I don't have so much against it.
I'm also reading "Queen of the Damned" (Author: Anne Rice) now, it's a really really good book and I recommend it to all people! But first you have to read the two previous books, "Interview with the Vampire" and "The Vampire Lestat". They are also really really good, although Interview with the Vampire can be seen as a film if you don't like to read that much. The movie "Queen of the Damned" isn't even a tenth as good as the book, I can assure you of that!
Well well, that's all from me for now!
But still I've always told people that has difficulties with school that they at least learn how to struggle for something, they learn how to put aside your desires and just do what you must do. I never had to learn that, until now.
Today I had 82 study points left to do, which is roughly equivalent to 82 hours of studies. I have approximately two weeks to get these studies done. I haven't really struggled with my studies so far, I have just sometimes done them and sometimes not. I made a very good study plan, but I didn't follow it.
I had a meeting today with Vick, my teacher, and Gerda, the headmaster of the school who also is the one who will determine wheter I will go to Africa or not. We talked about the studies and I was convinced that I couldn't make those points in these two weeks. Then Gerda talked to me and asked me if I knew what it meant to fight for something. I know what it means: to do something you think is more important than yourself. Then she said that in Africa they need this kind of people and that if I wanted to go to Africa, I had to begin to fight for my studies. That really motivated me, actually, because it is absolutely right. When I'm in Malawi, I have to fight if I'm going to make a difference. So I made a study plan and sure, I can get these points before the last of January, if I just really go for it. Now I have begun with a good start, so I'm already ahead of the plan, which is how it's supposed to be. I also planned to be finished with my studies the 29th of January, even though I know that I probably will leave as earliest the 1st of February. Still, it's better to have some extra time outside the plan, so that you still can make it if something goes wrong on the way.
During the days we are now preparing the food for the New Years concert which will take place on Saturday. 1700 people need something to eat and at our school we'll fix the food for them. It's really really monotonous work, but I don't have so much against it.
I'm also reading "Queen of the Damned" (Author: Anne Rice) now, it's a really really good book and I recommend it to all people! But first you have to read the two previous books, "Interview with the Vampire" and "The Vampire Lestat". They are also really really good, although Interview with the Vampire can be seen as a film if you don't like to read that much. The movie "Queen of the Damned" isn't even a tenth as good as the book, I can assure you of that!
Well well, that's all from me for now!
People
I just saw the movie "Sleepers" ("borrowed" it from Sanna) together with Emma, Sandra, Martin and Vick.
It's a good and realistic movie that shows some hard situations.
It also got me thinking about people, also since I know that I haven't kept the best contact with all my friends. I just didn't take the time and energy to be with them.
I wonder how much I will drift apart from my old friends, how long I'm going to keep contact with them. Sometimes you forget how much they mean to you, sometimes you think that you have lots of other important things to take care of, but I wonder... isn't your friends more important?
It's been a lot for me to manage through this program and I haven't felt so strong when I've been at home. I haven't been sure really what I wanted to do and sometimes taken the easy way out. I haven't really felt that I had something to give at certain times either, that I just would have been boring and there would have been nothing to do.
Still, I have changed and all people around me change as well. The more you change, the harder it gets to stick together it seems. I guess it's one of the inevitable things in life, that you grow apart from some people, but does it have to be that way? Do you have to feel that? Sometimes I feel that people wants to meet me because they remember how it was before and want to experience that same thing again... It's hard, because I'm not the person I was before in all manners, although at the core I'm the same. But I can't just do the same things that I did before all my life, sometimes you can't just meet someone and everything's fine... or?
Maybe I'm just being too stressed about things right now. Maybe it's just too much for me to be thinking about everything and everyone. I mean, I forgot my vaccine at home as well and I won't be able to finish all studies and all work that I'm supposed to finish. I'm just glad if I manage through this and I hope that those who know me will have some understanding and know that I do care for you.
It's a good and realistic movie that shows some hard situations.
It also got me thinking about people, also since I know that I haven't kept the best contact with all my friends. I just didn't take the time and energy to be with them.
I wonder how much I will drift apart from my old friends, how long I'm going to keep contact with them. Sometimes you forget how much they mean to you, sometimes you think that you have lots of other important things to take care of, but I wonder... isn't your friends more important?
It's been a lot for me to manage through this program and I haven't felt so strong when I've been at home. I haven't been sure really what I wanted to do and sometimes taken the easy way out. I haven't really felt that I had something to give at certain times either, that I just would have been boring and there would have been nothing to do.
Still, I have changed and all people around me change as well. The more you change, the harder it gets to stick together it seems. I guess it's one of the inevitable things in life, that you grow apart from some people, but does it have to be that way? Do you have to feel that? Sometimes I feel that people wants to meet me because they remember how it was before and want to experience that same thing again... It's hard, because I'm not the person I was before in all manners, although at the core I'm the same. But I can't just do the same things that I did before all my life, sometimes you can't just meet someone and everything's fine... or?
Maybe I'm just being too stressed about things right now. Maybe it's just too much for me to be thinking about everything and everyone. I mean, I forgot my vaccine at home as well and I won't be able to finish all studies and all work that I'm supposed to finish. I'm just glad if I manage through this and I hope that those who know me will have some understanding and know that I do care for you.
Rough days...
Today and yesterday was quite rough and I feel very exhausted now...
First, I should describe my job: I work 7 hours monday - thursday at a school for youths with problems. Some of them have been beaten by their parents, others have been criminals and drug addicts and others have mental and social problems. They are between 12 and 25 and can't go to a normal school or manage to have a job. That's why they are here, because they have no other place to be. Some of them lives at the school and others live at home and only come during the day.
Yesterday morning one of the youngsters got furious and lost control... He threws things across the room and tried to hit everyone around him, including me. I got hit, but I wasn't hurt. We got the other students out of the room and finally he calmed down a bit... After that he went to his room and slept for an hour and then he was back to normal again, apologizing for what he had done.
Then this morning, the same thing happened again, with another younster... She was totally blinded by rage for no apparent reason. It was terrible to see someone so lost. She was kicking and screaming all the time, when she usually is very nice to everyone.
It's hard to put these situations to words, the feeling of being there can't be written in words. If you haven't experienced something similar, you can't really understand it.
So I should study, but I'm finito right now.
One good thing though, was that I got a calendar for 2008 from Sanna, a calendar she made herself (with a little help). I'm really glad to have it and it will always be a memory of my time as a volunteer. It also included some pictures of people I'd forgotten. Thanks a lot Sanna!
I really hope it's going to be a nice weekend, for me and for all my readers.
First, I should describe my job: I work 7 hours monday - thursday at a school for youths with problems. Some of them have been beaten by their parents, others have been criminals and drug addicts and others have mental and social problems. They are between 12 and 25 and can't go to a normal school or manage to have a job. That's why they are here, because they have no other place to be. Some of them lives at the school and others live at home and only come during the day.
Yesterday morning one of the youngsters got furious and lost control... He threws things across the room and tried to hit everyone around him, including me. I got hit, but I wasn't hurt. We got the other students out of the room and finally he calmed down a bit... After that he went to his room and slept for an hour and then he was back to normal again, apologizing for what he had done.
Then this morning, the same thing happened again, with another younster... She was totally blinded by rage for no apparent reason. It was terrible to see someone so lost. She was kicking and screaming all the time, when she usually is very nice to everyone.
It's hard to put these situations to words, the feeling of being there can't be written in words. If you haven't experienced something similar, you can't really understand it.
So I should study, but I'm finito right now.
One good thing though, was that I got a calendar for 2008 from Sanna, a calendar she made herself (with a little help). I'm really glad to have it and it will always be a memory of my time as a volunteer. It also included some pictures of people I'd forgotten. Thanks a lot Sanna!
I really hope it's going to be a nice weekend, for me and for all my readers.
Chichewa
I'm learning Chichewa now, which is the original language in Malawi and sometimes the only language spoken as well. Here you can see a bit what it looks like!
- Moni abambo! Muli bwanji?
o Moni achimwene! Ndili bwino, kaya inu?
- Sindili bwino.
o Pepani. Zikomo.
- Zikomo.
Translated:
- Hello Sir! How are you?
o Hello young man! I'm fine, how about you?
- I'm not fine.
o Sorry to hear that. Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
Some words in Chichewa are very long, for example "Sindinaswerenso" which means "I didn't have a good day either".
It's a bit hard to learn, but also fun!
- Moni abambo! Muli bwanji?
o Moni achimwene! Ndili bwino, kaya inu?
- Sindili bwino.
o Pepani. Zikomo.
- Zikomo.
Translated:
- Hello Sir! How are you?
o Hello young man! I'm fine, how about you?
- I'm not fine.
o Sorry to hear that. Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
Some words in Chichewa are very long, for example "Sindinaswerenso" which means "I didn't have a good day either".
It's a bit hard to learn, but also fun!
Back in Denmark again
Now I am back in Denmark again. My time in Sweden was really nice, I could do everything I wanted to do.
Meet lots of people and have lots of fun. I never got time to see two persons, though... Jocke and Claire, know that I really would have liked to see you both one last time before Africa, but now I'll have to wait until I get home again.
I really feel that I am ready to go to Africa now. I'm nervous, of course, but that's quite natural. I've also begun to study more seriously, which is great.
Still, I begin to realize more and more that I won't be able to meet any of the people I know in Sweden during the coming seven months. I will really miss their company, I will miss their personalities and miss to be with them.
Also, I don't know so much about my travel to Africa yet, the ticket isn't booked and I don't know how heavy my luggage can be and so on... At least I checked my passport today and it's valid until march 2009, so I don't have to update it.
I got a camera from my parents so that's something I'm really happy about! It's not so big, 7.2 megapixels and a nice camera overall.
Now I'm going to watch a movie about a street child in Africa together with the other volunteers!
Meet lots of people and have lots of fun. I never got time to see two persons, though... Jocke and Claire, know that I really would have liked to see you both one last time before Africa, but now I'll have to wait until I get home again.
I really feel that I am ready to go to Africa now. I'm nervous, of course, but that's quite natural. I've also begun to study more seriously, which is great.
Still, I begin to realize more and more that I won't be able to meet any of the people I know in Sweden during the coming seven months. I will really miss their company, I will miss their personalities and miss to be with them.
Also, I don't know so much about my travel to Africa yet, the ticket isn't booked and I don't know how heavy my luggage can be and so on... At least I checked my passport today and it's valid until march 2009, so I don't have to update it.
I got a camera from my parents so that's something I'm really happy about! It's not so big, 7.2 megapixels and a nice camera overall.
Now I'm going to watch a movie about a street child in Africa together with the other volunteers!
Thoughts and doubts
I've had a wonderful christmas and new years eve, probably the best ever actually.
I got some nice presents, although I didn't get a digital camera, but that's okay.
I celebrated christmas at home, it was the first time, since we usually go to my grand mother and celebrate there. Now she's getting too old and she's moving out of her house to an apartment instead, so that's why we were here.
I celebrated New Year's Eve together with my younger brother, his girlfriend and three friends. It was really nice, we played some games, cracked the fireworks and saw 1408. Basically there was no alcohol, just one glas of wine, which made the evening even more nice. I don't really like to hang out with lots of drunk people, I have more fun sober.
I also saw "The Prestige" and "The Notebook" ("Dagboken" på svenska), I like both movies very much. 1408 isn't really my kind of movie, but it's okay.
It's really nice to be home for a longer period, now I can relax and just do the things I want to do.
Still, I'm scared to go to Malawi... I mean, it's such a big thing and I don't really have anyone I can trust down there, except myself. At least I've heard good things about my project leader.
I don't really have any passion, though... I mean, I feel like nothing is missing in my life, except one thing: love.
I know it's something that comes with time and that you have to be patient and all that, but that doesn't make me long for it less.
Everything else is really good in my life: I'm going to Malawi to work as a volunteer, which is fantastic, I have some very good friends and a fantastic family, I'm going to move to Gävle after Malawi and get a job there, which is what I really want to do.
Well well... I guess that things will work out with time, I just have to be a little more patient. Just live in the present and not worry too much.
Happy 2008 to you all!
I got some nice presents, although I didn't get a digital camera, but that's okay.
I celebrated christmas at home, it was the first time, since we usually go to my grand mother and celebrate there. Now she's getting too old and she's moving out of her house to an apartment instead, so that's why we were here.
I celebrated New Year's Eve together with my younger brother, his girlfriend and three friends. It was really nice, we played some games, cracked the fireworks and saw 1408. Basically there was no alcohol, just one glas of wine, which made the evening even more nice. I don't really like to hang out with lots of drunk people, I have more fun sober.
I also saw "The Prestige" and "The Notebook" ("Dagboken" på svenska), I like both movies very much. 1408 isn't really my kind of movie, but it's okay.
It's really nice to be home for a longer period, now I can relax and just do the things I want to do.
Still, I'm scared to go to Malawi... I mean, it's such a big thing and I don't really have anyone I can trust down there, except myself. At least I've heard good things about my project leader.
I don't really have any passion, though... I mean, I feel like nothing is missing in my life, except one thing: love.
I know it's something that comes with time and that you have to be patient and all that, but that doesn't make me long for it less.
Everything else is really good in my life: I'm going to Malawi to work as a volunteer, which is fantastic, I have some very good friends and a fantastic family, I'm going to move to Gävle after Malawi and get a job there, which is what I really want to do.
Well well... I guess that things will work out with time, I just have to be a little more patient. Just live in the present and not worry too much.
Happy 2008 to you all!
